good cop, bad cop

[insincerely]

Comments

[insincerely]

[he adjusts his position so his hand is on his hip in a feigned annoyed gesture.]

Hey, Vulp-whatever-your-name-is! Mind explaining to me why I've gotta go through this whole killing game thing again? Can't you just let us out of here?

[feminitis]

[said in the same tone as "it's SEIZABURO" whenever anyone tried to nickname her:]

It's Vulpecula. And you just answered your own question! If you can say "again," then you already know it doesn't work like that! Did you stop to think about that before you asked, moron?

[1/2]

[insincerely]

[in a normal shinnosuke tone—]

Oh, not bad.

[insincerely]

—Okay, Vulp-whatever. [he grins.] Hey, I've got another question. What kind of asshole actually agrees to host an event where you force a bunch of people to murder each other? You could say I'm really quite curious about what sort of messed up psyche you might have.

[feminitis]

Oh, I don't know! What kind of asshole signs a contract to play in an event where you have to murder each other? You could have just said no!

[insincerely]

[shinnosuke is glad sei didn't realize or comment on how shinnosuke basically just called himself out.]

And I don't remember signing any contract, so how do I know you're not making this up, huh?

[feminitis]

Don't lamplight me! We have the contract right here!

[


she means gaslight but it's been ages since she heard or read the term so she's got it wrong.]

[insincerely]

You mean gaslight, idiot.

[is this shinnosuke being himself or shinnosuke pretending to be a mean player? yes.]

[feminitis]

Uh.

[...]

That's what I said! Learn to listen!

[insincerely]

[he sighs.]

You know, in the short bit I knew her before you knocked her out and stuffed her under the floor, the girl you're impersonating seemed modern like me. You're going to have to get your vocab straight.

[feminitis]

[she sighs, too.]

This would be easier if there was some kind of script I could follow...

[insincerely]

I think she also spoke French.

[feminitis]

Well, unless you're going to teach me French, I don't know what I'm supposed to do about that.

[insincerely]

Bonjour, comment ça va? S'il vous plait. Zut alors. Au revoir.

[he shrugs.]

Too bad for you. [and him, because he's thinking, oh, we're fucked, to which he can only smile like a fool.] If it were something like German, I could help, but my French isn't up to par.

[feminitis]

...does it even matter? These places all make us speak the same language anyway.

I bet the Nightman doesn't speak French either.

[insincerely]

Just don't act like a definitely Japanese samurai.

[feminitis]

I've done undercover missions before, damn you! I can handle this!

[insincerely]

Okay, but how well did you perform in said undercover missions?

[feminitis]

I was extremely convincing! The people I was spying on never figured out I was a spy.

[


until she got emotionally involved and went back and unintentionally outed herself while trying to murder a dude.]

[1/2]

[insincerely]

Hm.

[...]

All right, let's go back to pretending I'm a guest here.

cw: suicide imagery

[insincerely]

[he twirls his knife around his fingers.

—and then, without warning, points it at his own throat.]

[feminitis]

[what the--

eyes wide, she makes a grab for his wrist in an attempt to pull his hand - and the knife - away from his throat]

What are you doing?!

[insincerely]

[he lets her, before trying to tug his hand out of her grasp.]

I told you to pretend I was a guest. [...] Well, you reacted pretty much exactly how I expected, though.

[feminitis]

[this is the face of someone who realizes she's just failed a test of some kind and is mad about it.]

...they're not likely to do that, though. They're going to want to live.

[insincerely]

Probably not.

... But you'll have to prepare yourself for situations where you'll want to help them but can't. We're supposed to be neutral observers at best, after all. And I know that turning a blind eye really isn't your strong suit.

[admittedly, what shinnosuke isn't saying is that he might not always act as coldly rational as he pretends, either.]