I'm going to ask you a question, and I feel like your first instinct is going to be to tell me to shut up or to feed me some nonsense about being fine because this sort of thing is easy for you. But.
...how are you feeling? About all of this. Are you okay...?
how is he feeling? it's a weird thing to consider.]
Never really spoke to any of the people involved.
[so it's a matter of who he is. the person he always tried to become, the person he's so thoroughly convinced most people that he is, the person he hates himself for being—someone who feels nothing over death because it's so commonplace, because it's a waste of emotions, because it has nothing to do with his sister?
or is he still the sum of the humanity that he couldn't kill; the boy who still naively wishes he could save every life?]
... Is it weird to say that being a participant was easier, though?
[and sei knows it's not because whole ass wasn't a giant shitstorm on fire.]
[sei waits the answer out, because she wasn't just asking about today's case. it isn't solely about that - it's about the entire situation, overall. she doesn't know if their interference has made things better or worse for shinnosuke.
better, she hopes. she knows that despite his prickly exterior, despite the things he says about himself - if he was really the sort of person he insists that he is, he wouldn't have agreed to their plan. he wouldn't have given them the chance to try to make something better of this.
and he wouldn't be sitting here, alone, pretending like he's fine, so that others wouldn't worry about him.
but she knows from experience that's an exhausting way to live. and he's her friend, so - she can't just leave him to it.]
It's not weird. You're right; it was.
[with her memories from reapsody in place, too, she can say that and mean it twice over.]
[he'd be lying if he said he agreed to their plan without hesitation. right from the start, a part of him considered otherwise—to just kill them all, so the nightman would have zero room to accuse him of breaching his contract.
not that it would've worked. he's not so arrogant to think that he had a chance against all of them. (if only that was the true reason he didn't do it.)
he snaps his fingers, letting the cursed song flood his brain from his headphone.]
It's probably a little weird. I think a lot of people would have the opposite opinion.
[but for shinnosuke—even for all that their game was a horrible, traumatic time... the irony is that he felt like he had more control, even if just the illusion of it.]
[he knew the hotel better than them at that point; he probably could have worked their surroundings to his advantage and killed them all one by one.
sei hadn't believed for a second that he would actually try to kill her, though - which was why she'd insisted on being the one to go and talk to him first. knowing what they'd planned for some of the others, she'd much rather have made him their ally than their enemy.]
A lot of people would be wrong. Maybe it was easier in other places, but other places aren't like this. Having to oversee things here is its own sort of struggle, I think.
[...]
I wish you hadn't been caught up in this. But... at the same time, I'm glad I'm not doing this without you. Is that weird to say?
Cannibalism's new, but I'm used to those types, at least.
[he deliberately spent his childhood in the underworld, after all. he knows better how to deal with the sociopathic sorts, the backstabbers, than he does with kind people.]
... That's true of everyone. No one asked to be here.
[like shinnosuke's said to others, he doesn't believe in karma. whether you're a good person or not, it doesn't matter—the world can be impartially terrible to all. in that regard, it makes it easier to bear.
he can't control what happens to him, so all he can control is how he reacts to it. and he's not so arrogant to think that his problems outweigh anyone else's.]
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I knew it.
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[...]
I'm going to ask you a question, and I feel like your first instinct is going to be to tell me to shut up or to feed me some nonsense about being fine because this sort of thing is easy for you. But.
...how are you feeling? About all of this. Are you okay...?
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how is he feeling? it's a weird thing to consider.]
Never really spoke to any of the people involved.
[so it's a matter of who he is. the person he always tried to become, the person he's so thoroughly convinced most people that he is, the person he hates himself for being—someone who feels nothing over death because it's so commonplace, because it's a waste of emotions, because it has nothing to do with his sister?
or is he still the sum of the humanity that he couldn't kill; the boy who still naively wishes he could save every life?]
... Is it weird to say that being a participant was easier, though?
[and sei knows it's not because whole ass wasn't a giant shitstorm on fire.]
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better, she hopes. she knows that despite his prickly exterior, despite the things he says about himself - if he was really the sort of person he insists that he is, he wouldn't have agreed to their plan. he wouldn't have given them the chance to try to make something better of this.
and he wouldn't be sitting here, alone, pretending like he's fine, so that others wouldn't worry about him.
but she knows from experience that's an exhausting way to live. and he's her friend, so - she can't just leave him to it.]
It's not weird. You're right; it was.
[with her memories from reapsody in place, too, she can say that and mean it twice over.]
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not that it would've worked. he's not so arrogant to think that he had a chance against all of them. (if only that was the true reason he didn't do it.)
he snaps his fingers, letting the cursed song flood his brain from his headphone.]
It's probably a little weird. I think a lot of people would have the opposite opinion.
[but for shinnosuke—even for all that their game was a horrible, traumatic time... the irony is that he felt like he had more control, even if just the illusion of it.]
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sei hadn't believed for a second that he would actually try to kill her, though - which was why she'd insisted on being the one to go and talk to him first. knowing what they'd planned for some of the others, she'd much rather have made him their ally than their enemy.]
A lot of people would be wrong. Maybe it was easier in other places, but other places aren't like this. Having to oversee things here is its own sort of struggle, I think.
[...]
I wish you hadn't been caught up in this. But... at the same time, I'm glad I'm not doing this without you. Is that weird to say?
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Yes?
[can he flee from this room? oh god, he needs to leave this room immediately.]
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[punches his shoulder.]
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Shut up.
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[...]
But if our coming here made this harder on you - I'm sorry for that. You can hit me for it later, once we've finished the mission.
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Lila Rossi was also annoying. It was going to suck either way.
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...and at least this way you haven't had to put up with Qi Rong or Luo Binghe, either. They both seem like they would have been... a lot.
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Edgeworth was seriously the outlier among us.
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Cannibalism's new, but I'm used to those types, at least.
[he deliberately spent his childhood in the underworld, after all. he knows better how to deal with the sociopathic sorts, the backstabbers, than he does with kind people.]
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It's about time you got used to other types...
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[says someone who
also keeps ending up in situations like this.]
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Says the person who was in multiple, including alternate timelines or whatever? What does that say about you?
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[well, she can't really argue with that at all.]
My point is, you've been through enough crap already.
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[like shinnosuke's said to others, he doesn't believe in karma. whether you're a good person or not, it doesn't matter—the world can be impartially terrible to all. in that regard, it makes it easier to bear.
he can't control what happens to him, so all he can control is how he reacts to it. and he's not so arrogant to think that his problems outweigh anyone else's.]
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